Flows Like Water

“Come away with me….to the wild.” Jesus invites me to lunch.

“Ok.” I sigh and follow where he leads. I have been smiling and preaching the need for home care up and down these streets all morning and my smile feels a little pasty and crooked now.

So I follow Him to a park with benches and slides and children playing.  Here, Lord?

“Yes, but deeper.” He says.

I glance to the side. There is a sawdust path marked “Natural Planting Area.”

“Here.” He says.

Internally my eyes roll as I look down at my crisp white dress pants and my black leather pumps….Grrrreeeaaattt.  So I take my lunch and my Bible and this journal and I start up the path.

The wood chips are soft like a moon jump under my feet and my heels sink in and bounce out with each step.  I come to a picnic table nestled in this Natural Planting Area…which really means this is where God is gardener and man steps back to simply enjoy his handiwork.

At first I am chilly (the trees provide lots of shade) and I have to pee and I’m not hungry yet so I guess you could say I was a bit resistant and then I sit and eat soup with Jesus and we talk about the lady arguing with her husband on the phone because she “doesn’t have time to do it all.”

I can’t see her through the trees, but her voice raises sharp with panic and I pray peace over her and Jesus says yes and we fill her up with the love of Jesus.  She packs up her tow-headed two year old and rushes away and I pray that soon she will remember that no one has time to do it all.

All we have time for is long-lingering hugs that smell like little boy and sand castles and lunches in the trees with Jesus and I pray that God will remind me when my voice raises like panic and I dream of drowning in laundry.  I pray that God will remind me that He has filled me with His peace and love and the really important things involve filling others from that well.

I pray to Jesus.  I desperately want to hold onto this peace. I want to hold onto this presence.

And He brings to mind the fountain on More Mountain. It is a sculpture of cupped, but open hands joined at the wrists and living water gurgles up through those hands and spills out over them and down over the fingers and fills the bowl beneath until it runs over.

He says to me, “From open hands my spirit flows freely.  Don’t hold on….open your hands.”

And I think of what my pastor said this morning to his group of young shepherds.  He said that the Spirit is like a fountain. A fountain can only take in more when it has given out of its abundance and the only way the fountain continues to flow freely is when it spills out all that it has taken in and in its place there can be more.

And then God reminds me, “Cari, what does your name mean?”

Cari- Turkish- Flows like water.

And I smile and tears sting my eyes because he knew me before I was born.  Because he created me for a purpose and he created a purpose for me and OH! What a beautiful journey discovering that purpose is.

¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.- Ephesians 2:10

Five Minute Friday- Goodbye

 

On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

Here are the rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link backhere and invite others to join in.

3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Today’s prompt is:  Goodbye

Ready? GO!

Today I say, “Goodbye.”

I say goodbye to words spoken out loud, to external processing, to kiddo belly laughs in the living room and begging puppy barks for apples sticky wrapped in peanut butter.  I say goodbye to television and Facebook, and *gasp* my cell phone.  I say goodbye to the neverending noise that I steep my life in.

But only for a little while….I’ll be back soon.

This afternoon, at 3 pm sharp, I will enter into a time of silence with 14 other retreatants.  For three days we will give each other the gift of a community of silence.  Silent, but not alone.

I am excited and I am TERRIFIED.

After all the hustle and bustle of the last two months and the deep community with my church last week, I am already feeling the effects of withdrawal…the sudden margin in my life has left me reeling…a little sad….and jones-ing for another hit of constant togetherness.

But today I say “goodbye” to my earthly community to say “hello” to my God.

I have spent intentional time in silence and prayer before, but never this long.  There are great things moving and swirling around me, and I desperately seek the center of God’s Will.  Will you pray for me this weekend?

STOP!

Five Minute Friday- Light

 

On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

Here are the rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link backhere and invite others to join in.

3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Today’s prompt is:  Light

Ready? GO!

“Every secret, every shame
Every fear, every pain
Live inside the dark
But that’s not who we are
We are children of the day”- Kari Jobe, “We Are”

This week our church is performing an Easter drama called “The Savior and the Scarlet Thread.”  Our congregation has been known in the past for these dramas and folks used to come from all over to view them.  My own husband received Christ during the drama in 2003, on among many.  We moved to a new location several years ago and haven’t done a drama in six years.  We thought this would be a building year.

A year of small sets and little dialogue.

A year of small crowds and a little buzz.

A year of well-known songs and a revamped script used in years past.

But God had other plans….

The set is stunning…our set design team turned our multi-purpose room (we meet in a gymna-audi-cafetorium) into first century Jerusalem.

The story is told completely through the dialogue of our actors with very little pre-recorded narration. They cover huge parts of the Old Testament, the Nativity, the three kings AND the ministry, death, burial, resurrection and ascension of Jesus in under two hours. I am amazed.

We have “sold out” (tickets are free) every performance….over 5,000 tickets! Last night there were nearly 700 people in attendance.  People are coming from all over to view this drama.

I am stunned by the work God has done through our church and IN our church during this time of preparation! I am honored to be a part of Jesus’ story and be a part of sharing His light with the world in this way that uses a skill set in me that I don’t get to put to use nearly enough. I am blessed by this very real physical reminder that this is my “job” here on earth….my great commission.

To be the light….To push back the darkness and death of this world with the message that there is truth and light and LIFE only in Christ Jesus.

I read once (I can’t remember where, but the man who wrote it got up in my kitchen!) that we are not meant to reflect Christ’s light like a mirror, for in reflection the mirror is not changed by the light…it merely bounces off and shines on others. We are meant to refract the light like a prism.  The light then enters into the prism and is reflected out in a way that is unique to each individual prism. In a way that is personal and beautiful and relate-able.

Lord make me your prism today….let me refract your Light.  Permeate my soul and everything I do, so that your spirit overflows on all around me.  Let me be your light today. 

“We are the light, we are the light, we are the light. So let your light shine brighter.”

 ¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. – Matthew 5:14-16

STOP!

Five Minute Friday- Loud

 

On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

Here are the rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link backhere and invite others to join in.

3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Today’s prompt is:  Loud

Ready? GO!

“I’m going in the bubble now. I won’t be able to hear you for a few minutes.”

Insert plug in port and ahhhhh….the sounds of Jesus Culture, Bethel, Elevation and even David Nevue create a sanctuary away from the spring break father-son bonding that’s occurring via X-Box and video games in the next room.   Raucous laughter sprinkled with booming, “No way, Dad! I didn’t even know you could do that! You’re awesome!”

I can feel Dad beam and son admire and a quiet, secret smile spreads across my face.  I just love my boys….but man they are loud.

The sound drowns out the thoughts rattling in my head and chases them away.  Puzzle pieces of blog posts and emails to be written and tasks to be completed float through the din threatening to escape for good.

So off to the bubble I go….to create more loud to drown out the rest….hmmmm…should I be learning from that?

STOP!

Five Minute Friday- Empty

 

On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

Here are the rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Today’s prompt is:  Empty

Ready? GO!

Start timer. Flex fingers.  Ready….WRITE!

Seconds tick away…the timer next to my laptop unforgiving in it’s rule following…

Five minutes. One topic. Should be easy, but today my head is, well, it’s empty. Really, it’s FULL of empty.  Does that make sense?  There is too much stuff spinning around up there to make room for creative thought.  Today there is no creating, only doing…only tasks to mark off the list. Only thoughts that are clinical in nature.

I am full of empty today. Full of schedule, full of tasks, full of shoulds and oughtas…

But empty of emotion, empty of relationship, empty of creation.

The timer buzzes as my five minutes end and I feel a little sadness wash over me as I head back to my FULL list. I breathe in the moments of respite from my to do’s and thank God for a little creation in my day.

STOP!

Five Minute Friday- Ache

 

On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

Here are the rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Today’s prompt is:  Ache

Ready? GO!

As I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and slide feet to carpet, I feel a familiar pain slice through my left foot. As I stand full weight balanced and drop heel to the floor, sharp pain becomes dull ache…*sigh*

Oh there you are, you haven’t been around for a while…I hadn’t missed you. The conversation with the ache goes something like this.  I had nearly forgotten what you felt like.

It’s my own fault, this ache that plagues me today. A failure on my part to do what was best and fully warm up/stretch before our volleyball games last night. Instead, I jumped straight into a pick up game, muscles cold from sitting, blood flow diverted to stomach from dinner.  Instead of taking it slow, instead of digesting, instead of preparing, I just jumped in….and now….now my near forty year old body aches.

Life, love and God require warm up too, don’t you think?  As I look back on life’s heartaches, I realize that so often they were my own fault…I  just jumped in…I didn’t wait, I didn’t pray, didn’t take it slow, or digest or pray…I just jumped…and ached.

STOP!

Five Minute Friday- Trust

 On Fridays around these parts (ok so it’s been a while…)we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just writewithout worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

Here are the rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Today’s prompt is:  Trust

Ready? GO!

“Cari, we just need to trust God.”

I just stared at the text on the screen. Black words in blue bubble. Simple. Quiet….Searing.

Big breath in and out and relief and calm sweep over me.

Oh, yeah…trust God. Why didn’t I think of that?

In the midst of a situation I was working so hard to “handle.” In the middle of my wheels spinning tight, all wrapped around the axle frenzy…one sister…one sentence….one truth….trust God.

Trust God that He knows what He’s doing.

Trust God that when He whispers He is rescuing a heart, even when…no, especially when…it doesn’t look like how you would do it, that He is indeed rescuing.

Trust God that when He needs your help, you will be the first to know.

Trust God that he’s got this…that he will heal this….that he will be victorious in this….

WHATEVER “THIS” MIGHT HAPPEN TO BE.

STOP!

Five Minute Friday- Grow

 

On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just writewithout worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

Here are the rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Today’s prompt is:  Grow

Ready? GO!

It’s amazing how quickly life grows when it’s watered and fed properly, isn’t it?  How saplings and buds and puppies and children become trees and flowers and dogs and young men and women….in just a heartbeat….with love and care and warmth and nourishment–they all grow so fast, so beautiful.

It’s amazing how quickly death grows when it’s watered and fed, isn’t it?  How irritation and hurt and sadness and disappointment become anger and self-loathing and resentment and discrimination….in just a hearbeat….with fatty, greasy junk–they all grow so fast, so ugly.  

Amazing to me how growth occurs….it’s all about the input isn’t it?  It’s all about the focus.  Today I choose to grow beauty. Today I choose to grow life.

STOP!

Five Minute Friday- Unexpected

 On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just writewithout worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

Here are the rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Today’s prompt is:  Unexpected

Ready? GO!

I was going to write about God and His grace and how it so often catches me off guard.  It does, you know….catch me off guard so often…you, too?

But then I realized that what is unexpected today is something so much more, well….mundane (?)….common…everyday-lifeish.

Today, I’m in the mood to clean house….(those of you who know me personally, know how…ahem…unexpected this is!) Not only that, but I have a fairly open free day to do so!

A day to clean showers and do laundry and mop floors without trying to figure out how to get the kids involved, how to explain to the husband that “doing dishes” in Cari’s world actually means “Clean up the kitchen.”  A day to blast worship music, sing at the top of my lungs and dance with the broom (yep, I said dance…and I didn’t keep a pivot foot either!- I’m such a heathen!)

I think the most unexpected part for me was the joy that I am experiencing today.  Just hanging out- me, Jesus and the vacuum cleaner. It’s a beautiful thing! Maybe this post really is about God’s grace catching me off guard (again) afterall!

STOP!

 

Five Minute Friday- Joy

Photo by Melton Microfilms

Today is Friday….Don’t you just love them? As I sit here wondering what to wear to this evening’s Princess Banquet, I decide I will take a break from my ponderings to weave together a few words….will you too? Here’s the rules:

We throw caution (editing, revising, and worrying) to the winds and just write. Without wondering if it’s just right or not.

For five minutes flat. Then link up here www.thegypsymama.com.

Today’s prompt is:  Joy.

Ready? GO!

I have a picture on my vision board of joy….really I have a few, but one stands out in particular….

It’s a picture cut from a women’s magazine…an airbrushed picture of familial perfection with a ruggedly handsome father and a beautiful perfect-teethed mom with no dark circles or creases or such.  They are snuggled in bed with a matching boy and a girl all laughing. The picture is in black and white, an ad for cotton I think or time management or maybe antidepressants. I’m not really sure, but it captured me when I saw it.

I want that joy. That freedom to laugh and jumble and nestle together on a Saturday morning.  That’s why it’s there…on my board…

As I think about this prompt I think about that vision board and how far I am from the person I was when I created it over a year ago…far from it not because I’ve out grown it, but because I’ve grown into it. I look at that picture and I think about last night…

Snuggled in bed with my dear husband (who is, by the way, ruggedly handsome) and my matching  boy and girl squeezed into the “parent trap” between us.  Bubbly giggling washing over my ears and heart….there it is….joy.

STOP